Yesterday was the first day of Chinese New Year. Spent the day working. Thought that being a public holiday, there will not be much things to do. I was so wrong. The moment I opened the email, there was some 15 emails for me to clear!!! By the time I finish clearing it, it was after 10am already. Started to do EA then...
Jess asked me to go for lunch with her. Was thinking of just eating at the canteen. However, when all her staff came back from lunch, they complained of stomachache. We decided to go and eat McDonalds then... Tried their Chicken Prosperity meal which came with curly fries. Never regret having that...
By the time I completed work, it was 4.30pm. Headed to Dhpby Gaught MRT station to wait for him. Was pissed off again!!! Made me wait till 6pm!!! Asked him, "Do you know how irritating it is to wait for someone for 2 to 3 hours everytime you go out with the same person???" He knew I was angry already. When we met, he did not dare talk to him until I started the ball rolling.
Walked to Mustafa Centre, the only shopping centre that is opened yesterday I believe. He has to buy a white shirt for work. While walking there, the pathway was filled with people. We just cannot stand walking that slowly. So we sped through all of them. The feeling was like we were silently competing with each other, see who can get to the end first. Childish but the unspoken feeling between me and him is just that good.
I thought I was the only fussy shopper around. He was worse than me. We combed through the whole male section, browsed through all the white shirts they have... But, he still could not decide on one. In the end, as he was running late, he just grabbed any white shirt which was the most pleasing to his eye.
Took a taxi from there to Amara after that. After so long, I managed to smile so heartedly again. However, it was very short-lived. Passed him the letter I wrote to him before we parted.
Was feeling hungry then. Headed to McDonalds AGAIN at Bugis for dinner. Ate the same meal as I had for lunch as well...
He called me when I was on the way back. Said he read the letter already. "I cannot leave my family... Really cannot... I already sign the ROM letter you know that???" This means you are offically married already??? Why the hell are you bothering me still??? Was very very angry then...
Did tear abit... Just abit... Was too angry to feel sad then... Messaged him, told him if he meant to hurt me further, do not call me or ask me out again... Called me a few times. Did not pick up the call at all. Only did it when he called the 5th time. Told him I really do not want to have anything to do with him already and he hang up the phone.
Thought through things the whole night. He is too precious to me. I cannot bear to lose him. But if we continue to keep in contact, I will feel even more hurt, more upset and more angry... In a BIG dilemma now.
Messaged him this morning. Said I will continue to be in contact with him. Since talking or not talking to him, I will still feel the same. At least when I talk to him, I am still able to feel appy for awhile... He asked, "You will do it as a friend?" My answer was, "I do not know..." Asked me if I want to attend his wedding. NO would be my answer... But then again, would it be better if I went?
Went around visiting today... In every house I went, there is bound to be someone asking me when will I be getting married. DARN!!! Can everyone just shoo away and leave me alone!!!
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
12:27 PM
Things were fine in the morning... Until when I spoke to Adeline...
Was partly my fault as well... Asked her if she happen to be holding a correspondence of a reservation. Guest has checked-in on 4th February and checkedout the next day. When I was doing EA, there was no correspondence already. She happen to be on MC then. Browsed through her emails... Nothing was found. God knows why I did not called the company to clarify things with them...
Agnes called to ask for the correspondence today... After asking Adeline, she flared up. Slammed the file on the table. Not being able to find the correspondence as well, she said, "Me being on MC is NOT AN EXCUSE!!! Go follow up with the company YOURSELF!!!" and stomped out of the office.
All was stunned. Ein Ein was pissed. We asked her nicely only for the correspondence... Did not ask her to do any follow-up at all... Maybe she misunderstood Ein Ein's words... Sorry Ein Ein... It is all my fault...
I was already in a bad mood... Asking doing this to me, I was fuming mad... Did not have the mood to even eat already...
Jackie tried to explain things to her... After lunch, both she and Ein Ein were on talking terms again... When I was about to leave the office, I just said a goodbye to her and left.
Came back home, lazed around till it was time for dinner. Having a reunion dinner is very meaningless for me this year. It is so darn quiet. Millie's not around... Auntie Daisy and husband did not come over as well... All of us just ate what we wanted and left the table. Not much words were said.
Stomach ache attacked me straight after dinner. Only had a few mouthful of food and I was burping away... feeling bloated... and NAUSEA!!! DARN!!!
I just cannot smile anymore... cannot be happy anymore... living life like a zombie... Guess I am cursed... Cursed with unhappy events for the rest of my life...
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
11:58 AM
Yesterday after work, headed to Carlton Hotel. Reached there slightly before 5pm. Have to wait for around 6 hours later before he could reach. However, he called me an hour later, said he reahced Singapore. Thought he will be there early then...
However, when I messaged him at 10pm, he said he is going to his friend's house first. Pissed!! You know I am waiting for you for so long already... We did not plan this last minute. In the end, he cancelled his appointment with his friend and came over instead.
Was in no mood for anything. However, after mid-night, we ordered some food to eat. He had not eaten the whole day. Had a misunderstanding with his family. Keep asking him to tell me what was it. He refused to say anything...
Got his birthday present. We are never ever going to Carlton Hotel again... Very poor service...
I left the hotel earlier. His friends were coming over for a discussion over his failed business. However in the end, they went somewhere else to talk.
Reached home, messaged him. Pretend that he forget to take the card. But actually, I have no chance to place it in his bag at all... Lazed around before decided to go to bed.
He woke me up at 5pm. Said he wanted to tell me what happened in Malaysia. Then, decided not to again. I was boiling with anger then. Flared-up at him. Came up with a story of him not able to go to Kuala Lumpur on 19 February. I know that was not the point...
Totally did not have the mood to go for dinner already. Planned for a dinner at Silkroad at Amara to celebrate Mummy's birthday. In the end, my whole family, Auntie Susan, Wendy and her parents went for the dinner.
Food is nice.. Got 2 plates of complimentary red bean pan cake as well. Thanks Tracie. Auntie Irene asked who is so good as to be able to sign the bill for me. Said he is someone worth tackling. I just gave a very fake smile.
He finally told me the truth just now. I was totally lost... cried and cried... He will be going to ROM on his birthday this year. I have lost him already...
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
4:00 PM